i was swatting at a stupid fly, and i spilled coffee all over me and my beautiful white washed zara jeans!!
oh well....
living away from home, i have the strangest feelings. Urges to go home just for the simple things like hanging out with my best friends. And overwhelming fear of leaving because i am afraid i wont have the same opportunites later in life to have such a unique adventure, and even sarier that i will lose the love of my life over all thoes miles. (my writting style is really informal, but i'm feeling informal today, so its ok)
i've been listening to all kinds of new music that i have been finding on sweet review websites, i love it all, it makes me happy. like this one song by Lantern on the Lake called "if i've been unkind", which i will post with some other wonderful songs pulling me through these rainy days.
I have never claimed to be an especially spiritual person in reguards to a religion or belief..i just remain true to my "feelings", because they have always been a pretty good indicator of what is going on around me weather i am aware of the truth or not.
But these past few days have been like i'm stuck in an emotional prison of sadness, and frustration, disappointment, stress, anger, agression, hate, misunderstanding, loneliness, fear, uncertainty, mistrust, helplessness and hoplessness. The only way to get away from the circulation and constant battle of these emotions is to leave the house, but really no one else seems to notice it, well of course they notice because the emotions are oozing out of them and colliding with others at the same time, they feel them, but only from the first person, i feel these emotions like people in the room, disconnnected like a 3rd party, the objective viewer. Why cant they see so they are able to change and control the atmosphere of this home..but i would never say it..
i would be crazy to say it..
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